This morning I was watching a portion of one of Beth Moore's study videos on YouTube. She started it out with an encouragement and challenge to draw close to God. To seek His heart. 

Her words:

If we would simply worry about being with him. If we make our hearts desire, “Lord, Jesus, I just want to know YOU. I want to know you. I want you to give me eyes to see you. I want you to give me ears to hear you. I want you to circumcise my heart to love you.” I make you this promise. If we ask God to make that the most important desire and seeking of our lives, we will have a head-on collision with our calling. You will never make the priority of your life to love him and know him and say, “Oops, I missed my calling.” Your calling is in His heart. As we seek that heart, we’re going to find that calling. What can so often happen in our Christian communities is that we can get caught up in seeking our calling and our ministry rather than seeking His heart. He’s after the purity of that heart. “You just be with me,” He says, “and then I will send you out.”

I can't count how many times in my life I've come to the realization that I'm not seeking God as I should. I'm not spending time with Him as I should. And this is not about me placing guilt on myself or getting legalistic about the amount of time I spend with God. This is me constantly realizing how I am missing out on His blessings—missing out on the sweetest blessing of all... spending time with the One who created me. The One who loves me more than anyone else ever could. The One who knows me better than I even know myself. And I ask myself why spending that precious time with Him is not the first thing I do every single morning and words spoken to Him are not the last words coming from my lips every single evening.

I think what Beth said is true of me so much of the time. "We can get caught up seeking our calling and our ministry rather than seeking His heart." Preach it, sister! The busyness of life. The busyness of ministry in Haiti. The flurry of tasks, needs, and demands that come at me from all sides each and every day. And those tasks are important. I'm managing a guesthouse. I have to keep it running smoothly and keep our guests content. Those needs are important. There are daily struggles that these children and families are facing that God has given me the opportunity and resources to help with. Those demands of my time are important... whether they come in the form of spending time encouraging a friend or needing to intervene in an emergency situation. But I'm reminded again this morning of what is most important. It's not anything I can do for God, for myself, or for others. It is simply being with God. Enjoying His presence. Meditating on His goodness. Soaking up His wisdom. Praising His name. 

Oh, Lord. Forgive me for putting things in front of you. Forgive me for not seeking You first to be filled and ready for the busyness of life that awaits me each morning. Forgive me for thinking that I could ever do this on my own. Thank You for adopting me as Your child. Thank You for allowing me to come to You directly, without having to go through some thing or some other person. You call me, by name, to enter into Your presence. What a holy place. What a blessing. Thank You for loving me and calling me to this special ministry. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Renew my commitment to You and help me to draw closer to You. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." What a special promise from James 4:8! Help me stay focused on You as I live for You each and every day.