For many people, the most difficult part of following Christ is dying to self. In Matthew 16:24 Jesus tells His disciples, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me." In other words, Jesus is telling His followers to give up their rights to themselves. The Bible says that we have been bought with a price--the blood Jesus shed for each of us on the cross. When something is bought, it belongs to the one who purchased it. The point: we no longer belong to ourselves. WE ARE NOT OUR OWN! Now in a society where we are taught to be confident, independent, and in control of anything we want to be in control of, many find this to be quite an opposing--and possibly frightening--concept. But Jesus goes on to say that although we may die to ourselves while on Earth, we gain an eternal life that is worth the cost. ("…and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.")

My journey has led me to this place on several occasions. When I spent time as a missionary in Mexico I had to give up many rights of comfort including my living conditions and social environment. I have had the wonderful opportunity this semester to work at The King's Academy. God opened a door for me to teach Bible, ESL, organize many chapel services, help out with the soccer team, and even live and work in the girls' dorm. I gave up certain rights as part of this job--my normal routine and social life, family time, and even attending my own church regularly. But the biggest right that I've surrendered is choosing when and where I am to serve God. It has only been one semester, and although I would love to stay and plant my roots even deeper, God has called me back to New Orleans. It's not even the devastating state of New Orleans that requires this move, it's simply God's call for this time in my life. I could try to fight it, try to rationalize not going by thinking of how much I'll miss my students, friends and family here and how much they'll miss me. But I've experienced too much from verses like Matthew 16:24, where in many versions it even says that this death to self should be a daily decision. I believe this is true.

Each morning we have the choice to rise from bed and either give the day, our mind, body, heart, and our service completely to God, or try to hoard it all for ourselves and attempt to tackle it on our own. Even though I may die many deaths to my own desires throughout my years, God exchanges it all for a peace unlike any other--a peace in knowing that I am living a life of true surrender with Him guiding my every step.

For the seminary application I completed for Southeastern, I had to write a Personal Statement that described my salvation experience and commitment to Jesus Christ, as well as my call to Christian ministry and reasons for desiring to further my education with a seminary degree. This is what I wrote, and this is also what I consider to be a significant portion of my Christian testimony.

I accepted Jesus into my heart in June of 1987. As a child, if anyone would have asked me the meaning of salvation, I would have probably responded with the two basic principles I knew at the time being saved means that Jesus lives in my heart and that I will go to Heaven when I die. Along life's journey, God has revealed the broader picture of what it truly means to be His child. Through both joy and pain I have realized that salvation goes far beyond my childhood definition. Salvation is more than asking the Holy Spirit to dwell within me; it is a sincere desire to surrender my life to the Lordship of Christ. That fundamental realization is a significant portion of my personal testimony. Instead of treating salvation as a passive experience, I believe that God desires total surrender that can only occur when I actively lay down my life before Him in exchange for His will and desires.

Although I was saved as a child, total surrender to God is a daily process. I will say that a defining moment in my Christian walk occurred in February 2005. It was at this time that I heard God calling me to a more intimate and purposeful relationship with Him. I knew instantly that to answer His calling meant that I would have to surrender my life completely to Him. I had to lay down any plans I had for myself and submit to His will and whatever and wherever that meant for my life. I will admit that I do not know the future God has for me, but I take comfort and find peace in knowing that He knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). Again, it is a daily process and even a struggle at times to follow after Gods will, but in my heart I know that His plans are always best. I do feel as if God is leading me to full-time Christian service. The specifics of any vocational plans He has for me are unknown. God has given me a heart for missions and a heart to lead people into a more intimate relationship with Him. If that means I am to serve full-time on the foreign mission field, I will go. If that means I am to be employed in a Christian educational environment like where I am currently employed, I will serve there. Perhaps God has plans for a mixture of both.

In all that I do, I desire to continually pursue a more intimate relationship with my Father. I want to know Him more and seek after Him every day I am on this earth. I desire to become more effective for His service, and I feel that attending Southeastern will nurture that growth process by creating an environment to dive deeper into the study of Gods word and truth. The majority of my Christian education comes from what I have learned as I have grown up in church. I would like to expand my knowledge beyond the church walls. In order for that to happen, I feel the need to be challenged in an academic environment that I cannot create on my own. I believe that further educating myself will help to not only draw myself closer to Him, but it will help me to more effectively draw others to His Kingdom as I am able to be ready always to give an answer to those who ask about the hope that is in me (1 Peter 3:15).

Here's the latest article I wrote for my boss who's in charge of the Academy's column in the local newspaper...

If you would have asked me two years ago where I would be working in 2006, The King's Academy would not have even made the list. Two years ago, I was graduating from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with a degree in Psychology. My future plans? To find a decent job, get married, and have children. Little did I know, God had begun working in my life to change everything.

Since I graduated from college, I have worked as an Administrative Assistant at Sterling Engineering, in Maryville, TN, I have spent over 3 months living and working with a ministry in Matamoros, Mexico, and I recently spent 8 weeks as a summer missionary in New Orleans, LA. Somehow God has used each of these experiences in a unique way to prepare me for my current job at The King's Academy. For example, living in Mexico with 5 other girls in my room and 6 in another prepared me for living in a dorm with 35 girls and women. I can also empathize with the dorm students at TKA when they request special privileges such as going to Wal-Mart or their favorite fast food restaurant. I remember what it was like to have limited access and ability to run even the smallest of errands in Mexico. I have more compassion for the girls in the dorm because of the experience God allowed me to have in Mexico.

So what work did God begin that changed my life from normal to anything but normal? God knew me before I was born. He formed me in His image. Along with giving me life, He extended an invitation for me to accept Him as Savior and Lord of my life. Although I accepted His invitation for salvation at a young age, it was not until later in life that I truly understood and accepted His call to be Lord of my life. Since then, He has begun to change even the innermost desires of my heart to be lined up with His own. My priorities have changed. My desires have changed. And my future plans are sometimes as unknown as the plans of a High School graduate! But one thing is certain, God knows the paths my feet will tread. It is for this reason alone that I put my trust in Him and do not fear the unknown.. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Proverbs 29:11 NIV)

Every once in a while my boss at The King's Academy asks me to write an article for the local paper about my trips and experiences. I thought I'd share with you my latest draft...

After spending 8 weeks working at a summer camp in New Orleans, I've returned to East Tennessee with some amazing memories. It was a challenging summer of demolition, construction, Vacation Bible Schools, serious yard cleanup efforts, and beyond. But as I reflect on the many things I experienced, perhaps the most treasured moments were found in the lessons I learned from others.

The first comes from my own boss, Linda Jackson. Linda and her husband Bob were missionaries in Africa for 10 years. They moved back to New Orleans one month before Hurricane Katrina. Like most New Orleanians, they tried to weather through the storm only to find themselves trapped by the flood and literally had to swim from their house to the seminary campus. Not only are they managing the ministry, but during their downtime they are rebuilding their home with their own four hands. After living as missionaries in Africa and now through the trials of life in New Orleans, Linda taught me about sacrifice and faith. From her experiences she shared with us, "I don't think we ever sacrifice as Christians until we are willing to say that we are going to step out in obedience to the unknown. It only becomes a sacrifice when we say, 'You know, I'm going to step out in faith and I don't know what the future is going to hold.' And everyone thinks that being in the will of the Father means that everything's going to be great. I disagree with that. I think being in the will of the Father means that you are just going to have peace when the storms arise. It's not how you shine Jesus when everything is okay that matters, it's how you shine Jesus when everything is not okay."

The last lesson came from Robert "Commander" Clavier, a retiree from the New Orleans Sheriffs Department. Sleeping in a trailer outside his house, Commander spends each day not just rebuilding his own home, but trying to help his entire neighborhood get back up and running. If you drive down Verbena Street, you would see this as no easy task. Many homeowners have not returned since the storm. Yards have grown into jungles of weeds and debris with giant trees that have fallen on sheds and cars. Commander showed us what we could do to help, but it was his own initiative that left an impression on me above any of the work that we did. He could choose to concentrate solely on his own home and family, and yet he is going above and beyond to take care of everyone else even before himself. He even blessed us with delicious treats such as smoothies, red beans and rice, and stuffed bell peppers. And in all he does, he points up to Jesus and is thankful for his life in Christ. I wonder how many of us can even list three of our neighbors by name? I think its time for each of us to be the Commander of our own neighborhood and like Mrs. Jackson told us, "Shine Jesus like never before."

In less than 24 hours I will be home again in Maryville, TN after an amazing 8 weeks here in New Orleans. I will attempt to make some closing remarks at the end of this update, but first Ill briefly share some highlights of the past two weeks.

Week 7 was spent serving with Radnor Baptist Church from Nashville, TN. I had the privilege of spending the second-half of each day again at the daycare at Valence Street Baptist Church, while the mornings were spent cleaning up yards in a neighborhood near the seminary. Cleaning up yards in New Orleans post-Katrina is nothing like the weeding Ive done around the house in Maryville. There are sheds that have to be cleared out and knocked down, trees and bushes that must be uprooted, grass that must be weed-eated before you even think about mowing, and even cars that must be somehow moved to the street. It is HARD work!! I absolutely loved it for one because I enjoy seeing progress when I am working, and we were able to go from a complete jungle and junkyard to a clean-cut yard. But most importantly, we were serving a community of people who can use all the help they can get. One piece of trash we can remove from their yard is one less thing of many they must do on their own.

The greatest blessing during this week was our time spent with Commander, the retiree from the Sheriffs department. You talk about a servant this man has a heart of pure gold. He is always helping somebody. And he helped us to help an entire block of homes. And although were content to wait for our Heavenly reward, I must say that He provided us with some awesome instant rewards to fill our tummies! From stuff bell peppers to red beans and rice to the most amazing smoothies that have ever hit your mouth. He was an angel to us after each tough morning. Its people like that who really make life so much brighter. Absolutely unforgettable servanthood. I would be content to accomplish half of what he has done for other people in my own lifetime. But he would ask for me to strive to reach even more.

This week I worked with Westside Baptist Church from Simpsonville, SC. They were a rowdy crowd, just what I like!! :) We worked the first half of the week on a gutted house removing any remaining sheetrock, demolishing a bathroom, tearing down the ceiling, cleaning up the mess we made, and cleaning up the yard. Lots of sweat and muscles went into it. Thursday we went to the house that I was at during Week 4. This was the house that previously had not been touched since the National Guard searched it in September. The guys tore down the ceiling; the girls removed the nails from the wooden beams. And I had a yard crew that uprooted, I kid you not, at least 15 either large bushes or small trees that had been covered in some thick, tough, and stinky ivy. It took us at least 4 hours in the hot Louisiana sun. I loved every single minute of it. My supernatural motivation made what was seemingly impossible become a realistic task. With my motivation came the energy to fulfill the task. God equipped us in a mighty way that day. Nick, one of the guys, told me of him going to get water, sitting on the cooler, and praying that God would give him the strength and energy to pull up the rest of those trees. He came back with a fire in his eyes and single-handedly pulled a couple out of the ground with hardly any problem. First thing he did was praise God for the strength from that answered prayer. And that is what its all aboutyes were serving others, but we desire most of all to bring the praise and glory back to God.

So as I return to Tennessee, Im taking more back with me than I have the time to describe here. But its been amazing and Ive experienced God like never before. Ill end with a lesson I learned through a devotional I read on July 9th. Ive been praying about where God is leading me after New Orleans. God lifted that burden as I was reading through my devotional for that Sunday. So where is God leading me? He is leading me to HIMSELF! Not Africa or China, not New Orleans, not The Kings Academybut first and foremost, Priority One, most importantlyto HIMSELF! Oswald Chambers writes, You have no business to find out where God is leading, the only thing God will explain to you is Himself. Now just because a well-trust mortal man utters these words does not mean they are Gospel-truth. So I reflected for a moment on that statement. As I did, I felt something deep within myself rising up to release a burden that Ive had to know where God wants me after this summer. Once again the Holy Spirit desires to refine and purify my faith to strip away the impurities of unnecessary burdens that I have placed on my own life. God has sent me on an amazing ride this past year and a half, and I now believe that all of it was His plan and purpose for my life to be drawn closer to Him in a way I never have been before. The resultI will know Him. And by knowing Him and keeping my eyes fixed on Him, He will grant me His vision for the ways in which He desires to proclaim His glory, love and grace to all nations. SO as I return home and begin making decisions for my next assignment, I will change my prayers from asking God where He wants me to go to God, reveal yourself to me. And by His revelation of Himself in and to my life, I will know Him, I will see where He is at work and I will be ready to get up each day and join Him.

I just wanted to post a quick update of the past week. With the 4th of July and all, everything seemed a bit different. It went by quickly, but all of the groups accomplished a tremendous amount in terms of ministry projects. We had groups refinishing wood flooring in a public school, cleaning up yards, gutting homes, organizing Vacation Bible Schools, and witnessing on the streets. I worked with Parkwood Baptist Church from Jacksonville, FL. They were a lively crew and blessed my heart with their enthusiasm, spunk, and incredible work ethic. It's always great to work alongside people who know how to have a good time and laugh, and yet have no problem settling down to get the job done while still making hardwork seem fun!

We started out the week working at Hope Haven. I was there the first week in June. It was the home for young people with behavioral problems. It was great to see some of the friends I'd made there. They all remembered me and were excited to visit with me once again. I came away this week with some new penpals. So I hope God continues to bless my relationship with those special girls. It's been a rainy week and on Wednesday we were sent to work on cleaning up around a house of a retired local Sherriff who himself is constantly pouring his life into helping others. Eventually we were all soaked to the bone as we hauled out junk to the dump pile in the street. I can mark that day down as the first day I've been cold while outside in New Orleans! Thursday we did a similar job of clearing out around some homes. Much like the gutting out I did last week, it was pretty gross and stinky digging through things that had just been sitting around to rot and mold since last August. The boys disconnect and hauled a hot tub from the back yard to the front. We also dug up and broke down several dead trees and bushes. That was a challenge, yet an incredible release of aggression or whatever you want to call it!

This summer has just been amazing. How awesome it is to get to serve God in so many different ways!! And He's filled me with a joy through all of it! Through putting babies to sleep, to talking to a teen about her intense life, to digging up roots, scraping paint off ceilings, tearing down walls, and building relationships with AIDS patients. The list could go on and on. What an amazing experience. But more than an experience, I want to take away from this summer that the greatest experience of all was seeing God at work through everything here and drawing closer to Him amidst it all.

As always, when I get to the end of the week and reflect on all that happened, Im reminded of how different each week is from the ones before. That is one of the sweetest blessings of this summer getting to see God work in so many different ways and places and getting to meet and work alongside youth and leaders from churches from all over the U.S.

This week I was assigned to the Bethlehem Baptist Church group from Ocilla, GA. They were some down-home country folk and I loved it! Im talking Wranglers, belt buckles, cowboy boots, and girls who hunt, fish and drink the Vienna sausage juice straight from the can! One of the guys from the group accepted Christ at the beginning of the week, so that was a wonderful praise!

Once again, my group teamed up with the Bethel Mens Ministry. We split up between two houses that had both been purchased as homes for the men to live in after they graduate from the 90-day rehabilitation program. At the first house, we treated and scrubbed off the mold of a previously gutted home. We also began putting up and painting the exterior siding. The second house was our greatest challenge. This residence had not been touched since it was searched by the National Guard 10 months ago. Neighbors had begun filing complaints because the smell was traveling beyond its own yard. I was excited to get to work on gutting this home, but I quickly questioned my excitement upon entering it and being confronted with the most pungent odor Ive ever encountered! We spent the first day moving furniture, soiled carpet, rotten food, and sour clothing out to a pile by the road. Eventually we got the green light for ripping out the sheetrock. I can honestly say that was some of the most fun Ive ever had! We were punching, kicking, pulling and sledge hammering our way through those walls. I made quite a name for myself going at those walls like I did! :) We also straightened up the yard and began uprooting the dead trees and bushes.

During our last day of the week we worked at a local daycare. I have never seen so many babies and toddlers in one place at one time. There were easily 50 kids there and the majority of them were under 3 or 4 years old. There were not enough hands to hold them. Many were falling asleep in uncomfortable positions in their highchairs or with their heads resting on a table. I wanted to rock every one of them to sleep. But I never found one rocking chair. My heart is telling me I should find a way to supply them with rocking chairs. So I will have to pray and see what God wants to do with that idea. Theres no way to know the stories behind all of these children, but I can imagine that their parents are working like never before to try to build back up what Katrina destroyed. But it still breaks my heart to see so many children getting such limited attention. It takes me back to my time at the orphanage in Mexico. Looking into the eyes of children in need makes my heart want to explode as I desire so much for them to get the love they deserve at such a tender and innocent age.

Our weekend was great. We got rested up for the groups that are arriving today. There was a campus cookout last night and the attendees included everyone from seminary students, to workers and volunteers like myself, to the men from Bethel, to the Mexican construction workers. We had a great time of unique fellowship followed by an intense game of soccer. I probably enjoyed it more than anyone because I could almost taste the dirt fields of Mexico as I looked around and got to speak Spanish with the Mexican workers.

Hello friends! This week has been yet another blessing in my life!!

An awesome praise of the week: out of the youth groups that came, we had at least 9 accept Christ. And there were many others who were reported to have accepted Christ at the various sites this week. God is good, all the time!

I had the privilege of being assigned to work alongside First Baptist Church of Umatilla, FL. And as I share with their group last night, they were an amazing encouragement to me. Ive been praying and waiting on God to reveal to me where He wants me after this summer, and this week, God just reminded me to serve Him and love others now. He WILL tell me His plans at His timing, meanwhile I should follow the example of Umatilla as they serve Him by serving others everywhere they go. FBC Umatilla was not afraid to dive in and get dirty, sweaty, and silly for Jesus! We spent most of the week at Belle Reve, an AIDS hospice here in New Orleans. Residents spend anywhere from 12 months to 11 years or more at Belle Reve. As one of their staff puts it, these men (and women) do not go there to die. But rather, they go there in hopes to learn what is necessary for them to get better and to learn how to better take care of themselves independently. Our ministry there this week was wide-ranged. There was a gigantic warehouse at the back of the residence that needed to begin being cleaned out. They have received numerous donations, which are all well and good, but when you dont have the manpower to sift through them, they can be a burden. Hopefully we were able to lift a chunk of that burden. There was a pantry that needed to be cleaned up and organized. A couple of our guys tackled that small space. The garden that Umatilla had worked on during a previous summer camp had been destroyed during the Hurricane. Two large trees had been demolished leaving two large and rooted stumps in the ground. The boys and men worked tirelessly to remove them. They succeeded with one, which was again a huge help to Belle Reve. We worked to clean up the floors of this late 19th century home. Walls had been painted with no dropcloth laid on the floor, so you can imagine the mess. One day I spent a few hours on a 10 foot ladder scraping chipped paint on the ceiling. That was a fun workout. And the last day, most of us had time to kick back make hemp Jesus loves _____ necklaces for the men, watch Rush Hour 2, and play Dominoes. Harry was the Dominoes champion and a complete sweetheart. He was hard to understand because of some speech problems related to his illnesses. But he was a blessing. He was working alongside us as best we could and applauding us for our work. Working in Belle Reve reminded me of Jesus ministering to the lepers, the weak, the poor and needy. It was awesome to see this group of young people rush in to do whatever task was needed no matter how great or how mundane. Not once did I hear a complaint. This group had requested to work in the AIDS hospice. And unfortunately, they will probably be the only group to work there this summer. It is suggested to most the groups as they sign up for Mission Lab. But for whatever reason their answer is always no. I thank God for giving me a heart to help those who so many others refuse to help. I pray everyday that God will give me His eyes and His heart for the people in this world. Without Gods vision, we will be hindered by our own blindness.

Lord, open our eyes.

To sum up this week, I'd have to say that the Lord is taking me further and further away from myself -- which is exactly what I want to happen. Random thought, but what a legacy to leave in this world to have a headstone that reads:

"It's not about me."

...because that is a sincere desire for my life. And it's getting my hands dirty in work like we're doing here in New Orleans that constantly brings that phrase to mind. If I didn't have a big God who has set me apart for a mission such as this, it would be easy for me to get frustrated and discouraged. And that's not to say that I don't have to continually pray and ask God to help me get through another day, another stressful situation, another hectic schedule... but it's good to keep it fresh and clear to me that nothing I do here and nothing I do in this life is about me. That's why life's little and big blessings are just that... blessings. We serve a God who doesn't promise us that life will be easy and happy... but He has seemed to provide me with grace and has showered me with blessings at every turn. I can't thank Him enough for that.

I teamed up with a church plant from Florida called Doctor's Inlet Baptist Church. They had a group of 10--three of them were adults. In the mornings, we helped out with a Vacation Bible School at First Baptist Church of Belle Chasse. I was assigned to be a helper with the 3 year olds. I was excited about that, because often I really enjoy working with younger kids around that age. They were a blessing, but they were also little terrors at times and quite a bit of work! I was excited to see them each morning, and it was sad to leave them as the week ended. Overall, it seemed that VBS was a hit with over 200 kids. And Belle Chasse was very appreciative of the help of the Dr.'s Inlet crew, so that made us all feel like we were doing something worthwhile.

In the afternoons, we headed across the street from the seminary to Bethel Men's Ministry. This place has a 90-day program for men trying to overcome addictions. It's the only program of its type in the area. Most other programs are longer and more institutionalized. This place has an open door in and an open door out. God is doing some amazing things through the lives of these men. One of their mottos is, "If you don't work, you don't eat." So they are sent out each day to work around the city to have money to support the ministry. By talking to any of these men, they seem like normal, down-to-earth, gentle sprits. But many of these men have been through more than we could ever imagine. Frank, our project leader for the week, has spent 21 years in prison. I haven't heard his full testimony, so I won't try to give many details. But he's lived an intense life with a violent past. One man who touches my heart just by looking at him is Leroy. I don't know his story yet, but I hope to learn it. He looks like a giant teddy bear and there is a kindness in his eyes and smile like I've never seen before. My heart breaks just to think of the pain he's probably been through. He seems slower than the rest of them, and I am burdened for people of all ages, race, and gender who have had to suffer because of the cruelty of this world and the harsh treatment many have received without merit simply because they are different, mentally challenged, impoverished, a minority, etc. I think of those children from the orphanage in Matamoros and pray to God that they won't end up fighting tooth and nail through life, but I am afraid that the love they've missed out on could hinder them in life. And I think of the young boys I met at the Youth Detention Center in Mexico and the kids at Hope Haven last week and worry that it may already be too late for them. But I thank God for ministries like Bethel Men's Ministry. And I pray that these men do succeed and are given a second, third, fourth--whatever chance they need to get their life on track... and possibly, find a new life altogether by putting their faith in Christ and trusting in God for all their needs.

As for what we did at Bethel. Most of our time was spent putting together 2 metal storage sheds to house their refrigerators and food. Currently they have a make-shift tent area, but it is being overrun by squirrels and rats. It was awesome to have a task like this one where we could monitor our progress and really feel like we were accomplishing something for a great and practical purpose. It was pretty hard labor for me for two reasons... one was simply just being out in this Louisiana sun in the heat of the day. But we kept hydrated and managed just fine. Two was the strength needed to get the screws screwed tightly in their place. I consider myself to be pretty darn tough for a girl, but I'll admit, it took all I had to get those screws in. And I'm talking hundred of them, so by the end of the week, I was beat, my muscles were exhausted and my hands were sore and calloused. But I actually loved it!!! We didn't finish... we needed about 4 more helpers each day, but we got one pretty much completed and the other lacking only a roof, so we felt good about our accomplishment and Frank assured us they could finish it up themselves. We ended the week in prayer with our group and several of the Bethel men after singing a round of their favorite song. The simple words repeat, "I've got my mind made up, and my heart is set, and I'm going with Jesus all the way!"

Ok, I know this update is quite long enough already, but I couldn't send this without adding one more story... you will definitely agree!!!

My construction partner's name was Aubrey from Doctor's Inlet. On Friday before the evening service she talked to me vaguely about some of what she's been going through. During the last time of worship/invitation, I could see her sitting across the aisle and I could almost feel her burdens within my own heart. I just felt she was unsettled. I began to pray, "God, if you want me to talk to her, send her to me." I kept watching her and I saw her rise and walk towards the back, I followed and took her by the hand and we went outside. She asked how I knew she was coming to me, and I told her about my prayer. She smiled. We talked for a while and one of the first things I asked her was to tell me about her salvation experience. She dodged the question enough and I felt in my heart she was not saved. I asked if she were to die that day, was she certain beyond a doubt that she'd go to Heaven, and she said no. We talked longer and it was a challenge. She's a seeing is believing kind of girl and here I am trying to define "faith". Later that night we were able to talk again. I was praying the whole time, feeling so inadequate and I told her immediately that I didn't have much to offer her. So I shared with her about my experience and what God has been teaching me. And somehow, in a crazy roundabout way, at 10pm that night, Aubrey asked Jesus into her heart! Praise the Lord!! It was a great learning experience for me, a humbling experience, and Aubrey was a complete blessing. Her words of appreciation for me working with her group gives me tons of motivation to continue what I'm doing here. And it's once again a reminder that none of this is about me. It's all about bringing glory to God, and I'm excited to help bring Him that glory by being used to lead yet another child into His Kingdom! Hallelujah! (James 5:19) <-- I had come across and underlined this verse in my Bible during that very service...

THE KIDS ARRIVE!!

Hey everyone! I thought I'd take a moment to share with you all a rundown of the past week. Tomorrow will roll in week 3 for me here in New Orleans. Last week was our first week of camp, so we had our first 4 groups arrive and sent them out on the town to clean up the city and share God's love. Everyone had a great time!! I will report on a fraction of what was done this past week by telling some of what my group was involved in. And then keep in mind that there were other groups doing other things like construction, setting up for VBS for next week, and working in a children's home.

I was assigned with part of the First Baptist Church of Prattville group. They were our largest group with 50. Prattville split into 3 groups. My group's main assignment was to Hope Haven--a Catholic institution for "troubled teens/kids". All of the children living there have some type of psychiatric diagnosis. All of them are in state custody where parental rights have been terminated due to physical, emotional or sexual abuse. They have social problems, difficulty with relationships on all levels, and don't know what is appropriate behavior for most situations. They do not have mature coping skills. For example, if someone makes them mad, they may process the situation as having 3--and only 3--solutions. 1) run away 2) kill the other person 3) kill themselves. Currently Hope Haven houses 55 children ages 11-17. The average age is 14-15 with more girls than boys. Children as young as 5 and as old as the day before their 17th birthday can stay there. There are 6 dorms total--3 for guys and 3 for girls. They participate in daily group therapy sessions and each dorm has a masters' level therapist on staff. They go to school when in session and have recreational activities throughout the week. Kids stay as short as 2-4 months and as long as 3 years. Hope Haven is the highest restraint residence facility with 3 levels based on each child's profile. There are basically three circumstances in which a child would leave. 1) they step down to a less restrictive facility. 2) they are admitted into a psychiatric hospital. 3) they leave successfully... but unfortunately, the success is temporary as they are unable to maintain normal behavior/lifestyles and end up coming back. There is not a high success rate. These are definitely the highest need kids in the area, where the majority have little hope of having a "normal" life and they know it--which probably attributes to their behavioral problems if it leads them to an "I don't care, what's it matter anyways?" attitude. To sum up their behavior in one word, these kids are extreme. They don't have good family models and don't have independent living skills. One of the directors describes her work there as a humbling experience saying that her problems pale in comparison to the problems these kids face everyday: "These kids profess Christ. They are fabulous little believers despite all that has happened to them."

During the week, Prattville led the groups in Bible studies and crafts. Many were attentive and receptive. We had a block party where the Prattville group (also a youth choir) sang some songs. In the middle of one song, a fist fight broke out among two of the Hope Haven girls. It took 4 adults for each girl to restrain them, which consisted of basically SITTING on each of them for about 15 minutes. To me, the place just had a veil of sadness. I was blessed by one girl inparticular named Karla. After the story of Daniel and the lions' den, she restated every detail of the story. I was filled with hope and excitement over Karla because all I'd heard previously were negative and hopeless comments about these kids. And yet Karla had goals, determination and faith. I was happy to come alongside her and encourage her to keep those goals, to pray for strength to accomplish them, and to keep the faith that God can move mountains in and through her life.

We were not allowed to take pictures there, but the campus is filled with beautiful Italianate architecture. Catholic charities support this home, and apparently they support it well based on the beauty of those buildings!! It was awesome that we were able to go in there and share the Gospel with those children. Many of the staff were sitting around while we shared with the children, so I do pray that seeds were planted and that the message of truth was heard that FAITH in Christ and not WORKS gets you into Heaven.

Pics below: My first casuality... my big toe. I stubbed it really bad the first week carrying part of the stage. I went to the nurse to get it cleaned out. It's healing finally, but it looks pretty bad. Man that hurt!!!!

Small sampling of the beautiful campus of Hope Haven.

St. Louis Cathedral is the oldest continuously active Catholic church in the United States. General Andrew Jackson placed his sword on the St. Louis altar after his victory against the British in the Mississippi River in 1815.

"Me & Jenny" Self-explanatory... my best bud... my partner in crime :) I love this girl and I'm so glad she's working with me this summer.

"Crab" This was taken today. We were invited to go eat at a family's house that the band knew from a previous visit here. I almost feel guilty eating from these people who have lost nearly everything. But they are Christians who wanted to give back to others who are giving their time and service for the Lord's work. I guess that's how it is with God's work... it's a circle of life and hope that gives and comes back around. We had the New Orleans traditional red beans and rice. And that was followed by a lesson in crab eating. I'd never eaten crab starting from a full crab with eyes and everything. That was interesting. Pretty tasty though! I snapped this shot so you could have proof! We had shrimp the same way... I tried not to look at their eyes as I pulled them apart...

After spending nearly four months in Mexico at the end of last year, I had the wonderful opportunity to return for a second mission trip. I set aside 16 days in April, during which I drove 36 hours roundtrip from East TN to Matamoros, Mexico, stopping both ways for a pit stop in Louisiana. Last year I was in Baton Rouge one week after Hurricane Katrina to provide relief in a shelter that housed over 5,000 evacuees. For this trip, I revisited Baton Rouge and volunteered in New Orleans to aid in the tremendous relief efforts that are still going on there and in other hard-hit areas along the Gulf Coast. As I drove through the neighborhoods of New Orleans, my heart broke for a community that is still in ruins from devastation that occurred over eight months ago. Until this trip, I did not realize the full extent of the remaining damage and the work that still needs to be completed along the Gulf Coast. The lives of thousands of families are still on hold waiting for more help and volunteers. I had heard stories in the news, but my heart was truly broken when I saw the remaining damage and ruin with my own eyes.

To briefly sum up my return to Mexico (although some of you may question whether "briefly" is truly a word in my vocabulary!)

I arrived in Mexico to the open arms of Americans and Mexicans alike. I cannot adequately describe to you how my heart was stirred in returning to this place I had called my home for those intense months at the end of last year. Overall, my time was filled with fun and fellowship with some of the greatest people I know--the young Americans who are still a part of the AIM program until May 15th. From bowling to bumming on the beach, we enjoyed swapping stories, laughing and just loving on and encouraging one another. And I got to hear some sweet testimonies from the new FYMs who arrived in Matamoros for only the 2nd semester (as I had only been involved for the first semester).

One of the highlights of my trip was a planned ministry activity I had prepared prior to arrival in Matamoros. With my stepmom's help, we "packaged" over 400 plastic Easter eggs with candy. I made plans to take them to my favorite neighborhood that I had the privilege to work in last semester. "Cabras Pintas" a place filled with some of the most precious kids in a city of over 450,000. I easily acquired some volunteers to ride out with me to help with the Easter egg hunt. Since I knew we would have the kids' attention, I desired to use the time as an opportunity to share the Gospel and the reason why Christians celebrate this holiday. A slight disadvantage to the timing of my trip to Matamoros was that students were on a two-week break from school and many of the families had left for various trips. So when we arrived Saturday morning for the Easter egg hunt, there were not many children to be found. Before beginning, I prayed with our group that God would richly bless our ministry during this time and that He would receive all the glory. As we were about to begin with the handful of children (mostly grandchildren of the Christian woman I'd been staying with) a group of boys showed up for soccer practice. Katie and I approached their coach because I wanted him to "loan" us his boys for half an hour. I told him of the Easter egg hunt and why we were there. He replied, "I'm a Christian, too," and graciously offered his team's time for our ministry. So I'd estimate we had about 30 kids or more by the end of the morning. Robby and Becky pitched in as Hilda blessed our group by presenting the Gospel message to the children in Spanish while Katie, Danielle and I tried to quickly hide the eggs. The morning was a sweet success. The children had a great time searching for the treats. And hopefully seeds were planted in the hearts of those young ones during our time of remembering the sacrifice of Jesus' death on the cross and the miraculous blessing of His resurrection.

Of course I revisited the orphanage, despite the fact that "my son", Manuel, was not there. On my first visit, none of the 4 children with whom I had spent the most time with were there. But Hilda and I played with some of the girls on the swingset. I got a list of supplies that they were in need of and was able to purchase some groceries, etc for them to take back on Friday. When I arrived Friday, to my surprise, all of the four children I knew best--Adriana, Ameliano, Christian, and Rouel--were there crowded around a television watching Chicken Little. The youngest, Adriana, at barely 2 years old, immediately wanted to be held. In no time, she was fast asleep and I had the sweet blessing of rocking her into a deeper sleep so I could lay her down to bed without her putting up a fight as she usually does. I watched the 3 boys and remembered the precious memories of last semester. I didn't fight my way toward them for a hug, I just said a prayer for each of them and thanked God that He was providing for them in that place.

And as always, attending church service each time was amazing. Once again, I cannot begin to explain the worship experience in that place. The Spirit of God is so powerful and almost overwhelming when you allow yourself to truly get on your knees before God and thank Him, praise Him, and sincerely worship Him. I pray that I continually carry with me the same heart of worship as I have so often found in Matamoros.

By now you may be wondering, so what is this about finding God in broken down cars and tornadoes? So glad you asked...

As many of you know, the life of Hannah is not without its adventures! Sometimes the adventures stem from my own causing (i.e. accidents, losing things, moments of ignorance), and sometimes the adventures sideswipe me without cause or warning! As I already knew, Mexico is certainly not the best place for two things: animals and cars. Luckily, I had no reason to bring my cat along for the ride, but un-luckily, my car was a necessary item. The shocks of my car perhaps got the greatest beating from the many potholes and dirt roads. However, the "Check Engine" light became a familiar sight after only a few days into my time in Mexico. I attributed the "alert" as perhaps having to do with the $7 of Mexican fuel I put into my car. No biggie, I thought, I will just have someone look at it when I get around to it while in Texas or something. As Katie, Robby and I were crossing the border on Saturday to buy groceries for a dinner we had planned with Hilda and her family, my car started acting up. The tape player stopped working properly, and at first I was simply frustrated at the thought of not being able to listen to my iPod on the LONG drive back to Tennessee! The radio began humming a tune that sounded like alien spacecraft and so I was further bummed that even the radio would not be my traveling companion. As I am in line to cross the border, I pay the attendant, begin to drive off to the next stop (the Border Patrol) and my car shuts off completely. To shorten this story, I have help to restart my car and manage to cross the border, spend 3 hours at AutoZone and come out over $100 in the hole, but with a new alternator installed and a new belt that I need to have installed PRONTO. Needless to say, we had to cancel our dinner plans (BUMMER!) but I was able to use a familiar mechanic in the church's neighborhood who installed the belt. There were some other worries he had, so I had my car briefly inspected on Tuesday before driving to Baton Rouge. They assured me my car should make it to Tennessee and I could get it further inspected once I arrived home. God answered my prayers for His provision as far as arriving home safely and having enough money for gas--since I had spent such a large unbudgeted amount for the new parts.

And finally, the latest adventure occurred on my last day of driving as I took a self-made detour to avoid an upcoming accident that was said to have all north-bound lanes closed for some time. As I drove down the new route, I looked to the left and saw dark clouds. I was thankful that perhaps I had avoided driving into a storm by changing my drive up a little. Well, I reached the next highway and looked again to the left (the turn I was about to make) to notice that the storm was a lot closer than I had hoped not to mention it was sitting right on top of the path I was about to take. I stopped for my last needed tank of gas and made some interesting observations there were many people and not just ordinary people people with cameras news cameras and a Storm Tracker van. Hmm I figured this could easily mean one thing, and my assumption was quickly affirmed by one word: Tornado. Lovely. We watched the skies turn and clouds whirl as the rain begin to come down--hard. The winds picked up ferociously and it began to hail. Honestly, if I had one worry it was only for the safety of my car and I desired that the storm would pass quickly so I could get back on the road. But as the winds started tossing large items around the parking lot, most of us found shelter inside. Yeah, gas stations probably aren't the best safe haven considering the large amounts of glass that make up the entire front entrance. Once again, this thought was confirmed as I was standing only five feet from the floor-to-ceiling window when it became a shattering waterfall of glass as someone opened the door causing the wind to send it smashing through the window. In total, I was at the gas station for about an hour observing the reactions of people who were taking shelter there. Some were in a panic, some (like me) had cameras and cell phones ready. And in the midst of it all, I was completely calm and ready for whatever might happen. My main line when any of them asked my opinion: "I am not worried--I know where I'm going." I called my parents, hopefully not to worry them, but just to give them a heads up in case anything did happen. I will never know exactly how close the tornado was, but apparently it was within a mile because the "stubborn" onlookers finally came running into the station when they spotted it. I thanked God once again for His provision, and continued to pray for it once I set back out on the road. It was a slow drive for several miles because of fallen trees and a dense fog. One of the sweetest parts of this story, and I will close, came from a conversation I had later that night with a friend who asked what time this occurred. He excitedly remarked that at precisely the time when I took cover in response to the high winds and tornado sirens, I had entered his mind along with an uneasy feeling. At that moment he told me he immediately began praying for me. We both can't escape the fact that it was no accident God brought me to his mind at that moment. And along the same line, I would say that God heard and blessed his prayer by protecting me during the storm and providing me with complete peace. Praise God! :) And whatever storms are yet to come, I will not fear because I have put my all trust in Him. I have blessed assurance that my life on earth and beyond rests only in His eternal grace of salvation. I willingly put my life in the hands of One who knows both where my journey leads and where my journey will end.

So what's next for me? Since I was not satisfied to spend only four days helping to rebuild the city of New Orleans, I will return this summer as a project leader with New Orleans Baptist Theological to help lead Youth Group trips that come down for one week at a time. I am SO excited for this opportunity and pray that God uses it in great ways to both help the community of New Orleans and to pave the way for the next round of ministry God has waiting for me after my time there.

How can you help? Pray, pray, pray. Keep me in your prayers as I earnestly seek God's plan and purpose for my life. Keep national and foreign missions on your heart as we pray for more workers to be sent out to the Harvest. Pray for ways that God would specifically have you to get involved with the work of His Kingdom. And please feel free to contact me if you ever want information on more ways you can support my ministry or any of the ministry organizations I partner with.

As always, thanks for your support! You are each such a unique blessing to my life!

"Faith , like light, should always be simple and unbending; while love, like warmth, should beam forth on every side, and bend to every necessity of our brethren... Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace. It is so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times." -Martin Luther-

I received an email from my boss asking me to write an article for the school's paper about my relationship with Manuel--what he meant to me, what I saw the Lord doing in Mexico, etc. Such a request is truly an honor. Manuel is my most treasured memory from Mexico, and I will jump at any opportunity to share about that relationship!

Here is what I wrote:

When God called me to Mexico, I knew that I was in for an experience of a lifetime. Beyond all that I experienced, it was the unforgettable relationships God provided in that place that I will treasure for always.

When I first met Manuel, he was sitting on the stairs of a shelter that can best be described as an orphanage for children whose parents have traded their families for lives of crime, drugs, and pleasure. I watched him as he sat silently alone, staring out with big, sad brown eyes. What most drew my attention to him was the fact he was covered in food, flies, and gnats. While normally a person would fight the constant annoyance of bugs, 2-year old Manuel sat still, as if he had already accepted defeat from the conditions he lived in day after day. As I hosed him off Southern-style, he cried and cried until I was able to finally soothe him. I wrapped him in a towel, held him close, and from that moment, we were inseparable. It did not take long for both of us to notice how special we were to each other. Before I even realized the full extent of the love God had given me for this child, Manuel began to call me Mommy. While I was both flattered and shocked at my new nickname, I soon found out that Manuel truly believed I was his mother! Apparently the love and care for him that I demonstrated twice a week for a couple hours at a time was significantly greater than any other connection he knew. During over three months in Mexico, I had my hands in street evangelism, leading worship, sports ministry, construction, teaching English and more, but Manuel truly was the very heart of my experience. I took picture after picture of him to fulfill my desire to capture every moment, every expression as my love for him grew stronger each day. I looked forward to seeing him each week and my heart broke every time I left and had to hear him scream and cry in confusion. Even on his worst days, all I had to do was hold him and he would be fine. I watched him grow from a quiet toddler in the corner to a jumping, laughing, and social child. It is amazing to see the difference a little love can make. I only hope that the short time I had with him can somehow make a lasting impact on him amidst all the uncertain experiences he may face. Maybe one day he will hear "Jesus Loves Me" and be reminded of a time when someone who loved him as a mother should was humming the tune in his ears. Somewhere down the line someone had said no to this little child, and yet I pray that God gives me a constant love and desire and passion to say yes to the least of these just like Manuel. (Matthew 25:40)

The following is from my journal on Feb. 3rd. What prompted this was receiving my copy of the AIM Soul Search Katrina Relief book. Memories washed over me like the flood of Katrina herself. I was soon bathing in the tears of rememberance as I flipped through page after page of a story I personally played a part in... and even more specifically stories from Kelsey, Katie, Jessica and Amanda (my fellow Mexico FYMers) came crawling off the pages... as did the named mention of all of us who were a part of the relief efforts there and in the River Center. I just wanted to share with you my own heartfelt rememberance of a time and place that now seems so far away while at the same time feeling as only yesterday...

As I'm sitting here in the comforts of my new part-time job here in East Tennessee, my heart is sad as it remembers a time just months before. A time when I was surrounded by 5,000 evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. It feels almost surreal to think that that even truly occurred--and more so that I was in the very heart and chaos of it! Oh the memories--the intense pain and love I felt and still feel for those wounded people. And what breaks my heart the most is that above all else--I wish I could have done MORE!! I mentally scold myself now for not doing more, working harder, spending more time with more families. Oh, but my memories are precious. I've got no photos, but my mind has forever captured the images of the River Center. The crowded room of cots and tents. The babies and kids everywhere--running up to give you a hug. Now, looking back, I realize even more how God used us. We truly were Jesus to those people. God gave us supernatural power during our days serving in the shelter. We labored more intensely that any other time in our lives--and yet, I would have been ready and willing to work twice as long and hard. How is that possible? And how is it possible that over 50 18-24 year olds would voice virtually no complaints amidst the tiring chaos? One answer--with God, all things are possible. I thank God for this opportunity I had to serve Him in such a unique way. And my feelings of wishing I could have done more will not remain as a regret but will be transformed into wisdom and passion for future missions God places in my path. I will never forget Baton Rouge... the hungry and desperate souls seeking the true hope in Christ many don't even realize they need... and the blessed honor it was to serve alongside such a selfless crew of young leaders armed and ready for the battle that awaits as God is calling out His next generation of true disciples.

Now my prayer... that our tomorrows are few in which we find ourselves looking back on the days before... wishing we would have done more.