Where He leads...: September 2011

Tonight I was browsing through one of my friend's photo albums on Facebook. My friend Nat first served in Haiti through Baptist Global Response and now is serving with Samaritan's Purse. He started a photo album called "Haiti one picture at a time". Nearly every day, he makes a conscious effort to snap a photo of the day. He'll then include a lengthy caption to explain the photo or what the scene captures for him. On his Day 155, he posted a special photo that I wanted to share with all of you. His day 155 (Sunday) would have been my Day 30, but I left on Saturday, Day 29.

On Sundays, the volunteers often go to church with the children from the Lamb Center. The first Sunday I did this, we took the 15 passenger van and Nathan (another SP friend) and I made 3 trips back and forth to pick the kids up and drop them at the church. The second Sunday I did this, Nathan and I decided to walk with the children, probably the more appropriate option. The church is on the same street not far from the Lamb Center--though it feels much farther with 63 kids in tow on a hot Haitian morning!

I would have loved to have stayed in Haiti for one more Sunday. The children all shuffle up to the front and spread out along the stage wherever they can find a spot. Most sit in a line, feet dangling below, others cram behind the pulpit facing the back wall. When it's time to worship through singing, I can pick out their little voices and see some of them bobbing their heads, lifting their hands, some even making some room to dance. And all throughout our morning worshiping together, I swap smiles with them, even a funny face or two!

But back to Nat's photo of the day...

This was his first Sunday going to church with the children at the Lamb Center, so it was a great setting for his photo of the day. He writes in the caption, "It was so cute seeing them all dressed up and wearing these new dress shoes that someone had just bought for them." That "someone" was so many of you!! (Thank you again!) But I love what Nat recounts next...

One of the little boys came up to me and said [in Creole] "Sa se soulye millionaire." Translation: "These are the shoes millionaires wear."

That makes my heart smile! I was so blessed to be able to be there and witness their excitement in person as I helped many of them find the perfect pair of shoes to fit their bare feet. But hearing that they are still talking about and thankful for this special gift blesses me all over again! An orphan who feels like a millionaire... now THAT is a joyful day! And as children of the Almighty Father and Provider, I pray that they will have many more days just like it. Not simply from material things, but from the best gift of all--eternal life, love, and hope secured through Jesus Christ!

A few days ago I received a survey from Samaritan's Purse that they asked me to fill out after my trip with them to Haiti. At the end it gave the option to share a "God story". The story below is what I shared. I'm not sure I'd specifically label it a "God story", but it was a moment I will never forget. I was humbled, blessed, and challenged by this remarkable little girl.

After a difficult day at the market helping Nathan and Kalebe purchase food for the Lamb Center, we returned to the homes where the children are currently staying. This day was probably not very difficult for Kalebe, the director of the Lamb Center, as he is a Haitian and is used to shopping in the market. But for Nathan and myself, it was a bit trying. There were deep puddles throughout the narrow muddy roads. The traffic was less than civil. And when we started off on foot to help with the shopping, our feet (mine only in sandals--not wise) were quickly covered in mud and whatever else might be mixed in. I said a prayer that God would protect my body, as parasites can live in mud puddles and enter through bare skin.

Back at the children's home, I sat down to rest for a bit. Of course, sitting down means that you will instantly have at least five children hovering over you, pulling your hair, jumping on your lap, and all speaking to you at once in Creole. Even still, I was glad to be with the kids and away from the busy market. One of the older girls, Verlie--who's 11, pointed at my feet and asked if she could wash them. For two weeks, I had observed the hospitality of the Haitian people. They would give up their seats at church so we could sit up front. They are constantly bring chairs, offering a drink, and helping in any way that they can. I usually respond by telling them that I'm fine, I don't need a chair and they don't need to go out of their way to get me a drink. I've never been the type to want people to go out of their way, especially for something that I can easily do without. But this time, the idea of having that brown mess washed off my feet sounded wonderful. So I followed Verlie around to the side of the boys' house, watched as she drew water from the deep well, and stood as she carefully and lovingly washed my feet, one by one, followed by my sandals. I gave her a big hug and many thank yous. I suppose I was struck in that moment with a feeling of being loved and served in a place where I came to love and serve. Oh, we have so much to learn from the Verlies of this world! I'm thankful that God gave me an example of a pure servant's heart that day and I pray that I will always be challenged to serve in such a way.

"The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28

Let me start with a huge THANK YOU to all of you who donated money to purchase shoes for these orphans! Less than two weeks ago, God put it on my heart to let you all know about the children at The Lamb Center here in Haiti and their need for shoes. I should have taken some photos to show you the "shoes" many of them wear everyday. If they wear any, they are typically cheap flip flops that break after a few wears or shoes with chunks missing or bits and pieces flapping around. I talked with Kalebe (the director) about what kind of shoes to buy for them. He said that dress shoes would be wonderful. They could wear them to church and to school. He also mentioned sandals... more about that later.

Within days of getting the word out about this need, so many of you responded! I didn't really have an expected amount of money to raise in my head, but had I tried to anticipate an amount from the beginning I would have way underestimated what God was about to do! (Isn't it funny how that happens?) I don't even have the total figure raised yet because the money is still trickling in! I realized early last week that there would definitely be enough money for every child at the orphanage (63 in total) to receive a new pair of shoes. How wonderful! And there is still money left over! As I mentioned at the beginning of this fundraiser, any remaining money after purchasing the shoes could be used to buy clothing--the second biggest need for the children as they often share clothes and don't have many back-ups if something is dirty. Though I'm leaving in less than two days, I've organized a way for those purchases to be made and they'll keep me updated on what the children receive. I think there is enough money left over for each child to get a new outfit and maybe even the sandals that Kalebe mentioned for everyday use.

I did get to participate in the great adventure shopping for the shoes. Last Saturday I headed to the market with Nathan (the Program Manager for SP's project at The Lamb Center) and we did our best to negotiate reasonable prices for each pair of shoes. It was all the more interesting since neither one of us is super great at speaking French or Creole! We came away with over 40 pairs of shoes and were excited to take them to the kids. I finished up with the rest of the purchasing on Tuesday, this time with a Haitian friend who works for Samaritan's Purse. I was happy to observe that I paid around the same price with him negotiating as Nathan and I paid on Saturday.

The kids beamed as they tried on their new shoes. One of them named Kervens, seated on the steps in one of the pictures below, even did a little dance to show how excited he was. I don't think many of us can grasp what it means to these children to receive a gift like this. Most of us don't even know how many pairs of shoes we have in our closet. Many of us would be embarrassed to admit how many we haven't even worn in the last year. Just last week I met a man who is the country director for another NGO here in Haiti. He was an orphan in Angola and shared with me how up until he was 10 years old he never owned a pair of shoes. Hearing his testimony of how significant a pair of shoes can be for a child made me all the more thankful for God's provision through each of you! Thank you for caring for these precious children whom you have never met, but whose day (and days ahead) became a little brighter because of your generosity and kindness! I know they would love to give you all a big hug if they could!

Some photos...

This girl called me over to proudly show me a bag she had already found for storing her shoes.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

Lately I have felt a little overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain. My mind has been racing as I think about decisions I need to make in the coming weeks and months. I've been trying to figure out all my options, weigh the pros and cons, and properly navigate through the decision-making process. In addition to that, serving in a place like Haiti is overwhelming in itself. Trying to help these communities and care for these children in the best possible way is a complicated process. There are multiple projects going on simultaneously, all with their own needs and priorities. And while I've been in Haiti, I have learned about several situations at home that are burdening my heart. People I love are hurting. They have been faced with difficult situations at work, at home, and with their health. A dear friend of mine is fighting the battle of her life with cancer. Some of my own family members are in the midst of personal struggles. Another friend of mine needs peace and direction during a trying time in her life.

My mind has been overloaded thinking about all of these decisions and situations. Part of me has felt anxious to get home so I can help, encourage, and do whatever else is needed to comfort and assist my friends and family at home. I have felt unsettled about my own future as I think about all the decisions that need to be made and feel pressured to know and make the best ones. I have been praying for God to speak to me and grant me wisdom and peace.

Last night as my mind was flooded once again with all of these things, I was reminded of a psalm that I've heard a few times since I have been in Haiti. In a couple of the church services here the congregation has recited some of the psalms from memory. One is Psalm 23 and the other is Psalm 46. Psalm 46 speaks of events such as the earth giving way, the mountains falling into the sea, and the waters roaring. As I sit here at this base, often looking out across the sea, I can imagine that if those events really started happening, we would tend to be fearful. But in verse 2 the author says "we will not fear" though these events are happening around us. "We will not fear" because (from the first verse) "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." I read slowly through the rest of the psalm, letting the truth of God's word really sink in. And then I got down to one of my favorite verses in the Bible, Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God."

Two commands. First, be still. Second, know that I am God. It is interesting that the command to be still comes before the command to know that He is God. The verse does not read: Know that I am God and be still. It reads: Be still and know that I am God. Perhaps this is because sometimes we need to stop... physically, mentally, and in every way in order to fully process and accept our knowledge of God--remembering and realizing once again who He is. He is God. Creator of all. Sustainer of life. Furthermore, if He is God it means I am not. He desires and deserves complete control over my life. And that includes not only my actions but my thoughts as well. I need to first be still. Stop thinking. Stop worrying. Let go and lay down. All of this busyness inside of my head is stealing my joy and unsettling my peace. God desires neither of those to happen. He sent His Son that my joy would be made complete (Phil 2:2). The joy of the Lord is my strength (Ps 28:7). And He blesses His people with peace (Ps 29:11). Peace that surpasses understanding (Phil 4:7). If I don't have joy and peace it is because of something I am doing or not doing and nothing to do with God.

Going back to verse 1... God is ever-present. He is always with us. Emmanuel. God is my refuge. I paused at that word "refuge" to define it. What does God as my refuge mean for me? When a refugee is running for his life, what does a refuge mean for him? Safety. A place to get food, shelter and rest. God is my refuge. My safe haven. My nourishment. My rest. He is my strength. And if He is the source my strength, I am not. So if I am empty... it's ok! Let Him fill me. Let Him be strong when I am weak (2 Cor 12:9-10).

Be still. And know. He is God. He is in control. He has a plan. Let go of the reins. Lay down your concerns, your fears, your own plans and desires. Jesus says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light," (Mt 11:30). Believe Him. Rest in Him. Let Him restore you (Ps 23:2-3). Be still and know that He is God.

To continue the theme from the last photo I posted...

On Saturday I went to the market to begin purchasing the shoes for the children at The Lamb Center. I had to laugh to myself when I looked over at the guy on the motorcycle beside us. He had on a MissionLab New Orleans shirt! After we parked, I snapped this photo. I tried to explain to my friend how I used to work for MissionLab, and why I was so amused by seeing this shirt, but no one could really share in my excitement so I figured I would post it for all of you!

Anytime you find yourself miles away from home, you learn to delight in the small things. Your favorite snack, a phone call to your family, a conversation with someone who has been to your hometown. Yesterday a simple t-shirt brought joy to my heart. As I reached down to pick up Israel, one of my little buddies from The Lamb Center, I noticed something familiar on his shirt... the Great Smoky Mountains! :) I was the only American there, so I just smiled to myself and tucked it away in my memory of God's special blessings here in Haiti.

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